Chapter Thirty-Eight: Look on the Bright Side—Maybe She Drowned

Inside the livestream room.

The viewers were all amused to the point of laughter.

"Streamer, are you trying to make me laugh?"

"If I had a billion, would I really care about a measly million?"

"It's simple if you don't have a billion, bro. Just deposit a hundred billion into a savings account, and you'll have ten billion in a month. If that's not enough, wait two months. Eventually, you'll get there."

"Ten billion isn't realistic, but listen, I'm the Monkey King and I'm causing havoc in the Underworld right now. If each of you sends me ten bucks, I'll erase your name from the Book of Life and Death. 177****4009, that's my payment account. Ten bucks—never a loss, never a scam!"

...

To be honest, these viewers were truly remarkable, quick-witted enough to extrapolate and devise ways to earn ten billion. Simply outstanding.

"Actually, I have another method to get everyone the capital of ten billion."

Bai Qingming couldn't help but suggest another path to wealth for his audience, "If you don't have money, you could find ten billion people, borrow one yuan from each, promise to return it in a month, and then deposit it in the savings account. After one month, you'd make a million in profit. Return the borrowed money, and you're left with a million—how delightful!"

His words ignited the atmosphere in the stream once again.

"666, streamer, you're a real talent. It's a waste for you to be streaming."

"Streamer, I can't help wanting to send you a gift as an insult. Do you mind?"

"Honestly, I think this method is pretty good. I'm off to borrow money now, see you all in a month!"

"Farewell on your journey!"

...

[The Simp Turns Out To Be Me sends Treasure Map ×1]

At that moment, someone sent a gift worth five thousand.

Then, The Simp Turns Out To Be Me said, "Streamer, I've been watching your stream lately and I think you're quite professional in some ways. Can I ask you a question?"

As if afraid Bai Qingming wouldn't notice him, he sent another treasure map, totaling ten thousand.

"Thank you, 'The Simp Turns Out To Be Me', for the treasure map. I love it when people ask questions. Ask me anything!"

For some reason, Bai Qingming couldn't help but smile when he read this viewer's name.

"It's like this, I'm twenty-six this year, just had a blind date with a girl. I have a good impression of her, and was planning to watch a movie with her tonight. But she said she has a puppy at home and can't leave it alone, so she told me she can't watch a movie. What does this mean?"

The viewer who sent the gift asked his question.

Instantly, the chat exploded.

"Bro, are you joking? Isn't it obvious she's rejecting you?"

"Yeah, can't you tell? She doesn't fancy you."

"I'm certain the girl was just making an excuse to brush you off, one hundred percent. Don't ask how I know, it's all tears from experience."

The viewers chimed in with their opinions.

There’s a saying: see through but don’t expose, but everyone here was an adult, and the hint was glaringly obvious—any normal person could understand what it meant.

But just then, Bai Qingming coughed twice.

"Not so, not so!"

His words stunned the audience.

Bai Qingming continued, "I think you’re all focusing on the wrong point. Perhaps... the girl you met wasn’t rejecting you, but actually hinting at something."

"Let me ask you, she said she has a dog at home and can’t leave it alone, right?"

He asked.

"Yes, those were her exact words!" replied The Simp Turns Out To Be Me, quickly in the chat.

"Then that's it," Bai Qingming said confidently. "Think about it carefully. Isn’t she hinting that there’s nobody else at home, only herself?"

When he finished, the viewers’ faces were full of question marks.

"Wow, streamer, your level of comprehension is insane!"

"You know, that actually does make sense..."

"This is king-level understanding, I bow to you."

...

Seeing the enthusiasm, Bai Qingming knew it was time to stir things up a bit.

"Come, come, while we're at it, ask whatever you want. The streamer knows everything and can answer all your questions."

As soon as Bai Qingming finished, viewers jumped in.

"Streamer, streamer, I want to ask, the girl I like told me three days ago she was going to take a shower, and still hasn’t replied to my messages. Should I keep sending her messages morning and night?"

...

"Oh my goodness, brother, are you here to make us laugh?"

"Three days is nothing! The girl I like hasn't replied in a year, and I didn't say anything. Wait, who was the girl I liked again?"

"Bro, just give up now."

The viewers responded swiftly as always.

Bai Qingming thought for a moment and offered his answer.

"Actually, you could look on the bright side. Maybe she isn't ignoring you, maybe she drowned in the shower? I suggest calling emergency services."

After he spoke, silence.

A deathly hush fell over the chat.

Even the most quick-witted viewers were at a loss for words. When they finally reacted, they flooded the chat with ‘666’, threatening to smash the six key on their keyboards.

"Now, let’s have the next viewer share their story," Bai Qingming prompted.

"Streamer, a girl rejected my confession. A few days later, I saw in someone else’s social feed that she announced her new boyfriend. I couldn’t see it because she blocked me. I think she still likes me—she blocked me because she didn’t want me to be hurt. Streamer, am I right?"

...

"Streamer, last month my goddess had a birthday. I wanted to give her a set of luxury cosmetics, but had no money, so I went to steal a battery. Unfortunately, I got caught. I wanted to resist, but the police told me to stay still and behave, so I immediately did. Because my goddess said she liked honest men best.

Today I just got out of the station. Streamer, if I tell her about this, she should like me, right?"

...

"Streamer, last night my goddess played games with a top player and for the first time let me see her stats. I didn’t understand them, but I knew she was the best. So I sent her lots of messages, telling her how much I adored her. She replied with ‘idiot’.

I thought about this all night, wondering what it meant. Finally, I figured it out. ‘Idiot’—the first word means she thinks I’m silly, but the ‘B’ at the end must be short for ‘baby’.

So ‘idiot’ is a nickname she gave me. What a lovely nickname.

Silly baby, turns out my goddess likes me after all.

Streamer, is my interpretation correct?"

...