Chapter Two: Two Orioles Sing Amid Emerald Willows—And You Still Don’t Have a Girlfriend

“The streamer can sing too?”
“Is it going to be one of those deadly performances?”
“I have a vague sense of foreboding.”
In the live chat, a few of Bai Qingming’s hardcore fans sent messages expressing their doubts.

“Ahem.”
Bai Qingming didn’t reply, simply cleared his throat and said, “On this special day when shells are flying, here’s a song for all the single dogs out there.”

As soon as he finished speaking, he ignored the barrage of comments and began to sing.

“Two orioles sing among the green willows, and you still don’t have a girlfriend.”

In this world, the song was unknown—Bai Qingming sang a cappella, yet his performance lost none of its charm. The unique melody and lyrics sent the chat into a frenzy, the screen filling with question marks.

A blow straight to the heart—this was a true act of emotional assassination!
Both streaming rooms were in utter disbelief.

“Male and female rabbits run side by side, and you still don’t have a boyfriend.”

Unperturbed, Bai Qingming kept singing, and someone in the chat actually began to cry.

“I’m twenty-seven this year, never been in a relationship. Couldn’t bring a boyfriend home for the New Year, and my mom kicked me out. Boohoo.”
“That’s nothing. I’m thirty and have never even held a girl’s hand. I don’t want to live anymore.”
“Stop singing, streamer, this song is too cruel.”
“Are you even human, streamer? What did single dogs ever do to you?”

In an instant, the chat was overwhelmed by question marks and heartbroken laments.

Even Beauty Like a Scorpion felt her nose sting.
Partly because she was reminded that she didn’t even have a boyfriend,
And partly because her own viewer count was steadily dropping, now only a third of what it had been.

Some hot-tempered viewers had stormed off to Bai Qingming’s stream and hadn’t returned; others had been reduced to tears by his song and left entirely. Among the remaining third, half were bots and the rest were egging her on to curse out Bai Qingming—or they’d unfollow her.

Caught between a rock and a hard place, Beauty Like a Scorpion finally lost control and burst into tears.

…

In a budget hotel somewhere,
Every room was its own battlefield.
Having just finished a bout of passion, Xu Fei lit a cigarette and casually picked up his phone.
Not caring whose stream it was, he clicked into one, and Bai Qingming’s voice came through:

“A river of spring water flows east, and you still don’t have a boyfriend.”
“How much sorrow can one have? You still don’t have a girlfriend.”

As someone with a girlfriend, Xu Fei couldn’t help but laugh at these lyrics.
The more he listened, the catchier the song became, and when he saw the female streamer on the other side actually start crying, he was even more delighted.

“This streamer is hilarious. Followed! Oh, and something this funny has to be shared!”

…

Chen Yu was a university student and a short video enthusiast.

His dorm had four people; except for Chen Yu, all the others had girlfriends.
So, on this special night, he was the only one left alone in the dorm.

“What’s so great about having a girlfriend? Games are way more fun!”

With that, Chen Yu queued up for ranked, insta-locking Yasuo.

“First pick orphan, insta-locking Yasuo!”
“We’re doomed, Yasuo players are trash!”
His teammates spammed insults about his family.

“My happiness has returned,” Chen Yu muttered to himself, unfazed.
But just then, his roommate Xu Fei sent him a link to a Tiger Sprout live stream.

“Chen Yu, quick, this female streamer is crying.”

Without a second thought, Chen Yu clicked in, just in time to hear, “Raise a glass to drown your sorrows, and you still don’t have a girlfriend.”

At that moment, the enemy Ashe sent an all-chat message: “Support Lulu is my girlfriend—jealous, single dogs?”

Chen Yu instantly snapped!
His eyes burned red, as if possessed by the king of the game, his fingers flying across the keyboard.

Damn it all!

“See injustice on the road and shout, you still don’t have a girlfriend.”
Big Q!
“This song should exist only in heaven, you still don’t have a boyfriend.”
Wind Wall Q!
“I am also a single… dog!”

The last three words hit Chen Yu like a soul-crushing blow.
“None of you are getting away!”
He roared,
Flash Q!
“Kneel before me!”
Taunt Q!
Pentakill, team wipe!

His teammates, who had flamed him at the start:
“Yasuo, you’re a god!”
“666666, amazing!”
“Yasuo, forever the king!”
“Ahhh, I want a girlfriend, I want to stop being single!” Chen Yu howled madly, snapping his keyboard in two.

…

Meanwhile,
Bai Qingming’s performance was drawing to a close.
“Brilliant show, streamer! That song was both cathartic and catchy!”
“I thought you only played Yasuo, but you’re this talented too? I’m impressed!”
[Neighbor Wang sends a Rocket ×1]
“Referred by a friend, don’t get me wrong—I have a girlfriend.” —Neighbor Wang
“Friend out of nowhere, huh?”
“If you know, you know!”

The chat was lively with messages and gifts.
With the surge in popularity, Bai Qingming’s stream was automatically promoted to the platform’s front page, drawing in more and more viewers.
The Song of the Single Dog was quirky and infectious—many were drawn in and hit the follow button.

In just a short while, his follower count reached ten thousand, and his popularity rivaled some of the top-tier streamers with six-figure fans.
Once upon a time, this would have made Bai Qingming ecstatic.
But now, he felt it was all pointless; finding a steady job seemed far more reliable.

At that moment, a unique message popped up in the chat.
“Streamer, aren’t you a single dog too?”

Bai Qingming wasn’t fazed. He chuckled and replied,
“I’m no single dog. The song is over—goodbye, everyone. I’m off to spend Valentine’s Day with my girlfriends!”

He played the part with flair, drawing out the word “girlfriends” for emphasis.
The entire chat froze.

“Did I hear that right? He said ‘girlfriends’—plural?”
“This is like Commander Li Yunlong’s wife Li Xiuqin showing off!”
“When will I ever be as impressive as the streamer?”

Glancing at the messages, Bai Qingming decided he was done for the night.
Stream off, straight to bed!
Hide your achievements and your fame.

…

After cooling off, Chen Yu stared at the keyboard he’d spent eight hundred yuan on, which had barely been used before being destroyed. The more he thought about it, the angrier he became.
“No, I can’t stand it. I can’t be the only one suffering. I have to make sure more people hear this song!”

Determined, Chen Yu grabbed his roommate’s keyboard, installed it, dug out the recording of Bai Qingming’s stream, and clipped the part with The Song of the Single Dog.

Douyin, uploaded.
Bilibili, uploaded.
Every platform he could think of, he uploaded it.

Once finished, Chen Yu finally felt a sense of relief.
He went back to his study materials for a while, and even as he fell asleep, there was a smile on his face.
Sorry, single dogs—if I’m guilty, we’re all guilty together.
No one’s getting away!