Chapter Seventeen: If I Don’t Feel Awkward, the Awkwardness Falls on Others

“You damn—”
Dumb Girl bellowed furiously, only to hear a voice from behind her.
“What’s going on in here?”
The door opened. It was Dumb Girl’s mother, bringing her a plate of freshly cut fruit. By sheer misfortune, she caught her daughter mid-curse.
“I’m not doing anything, Mom,” Dumb Girl immediately lost her temper.
“A young lady should mind her manners,” her mother admonished as she set down the fruit, glanced at the barrage of comments on screen, and turned to leave.
A moment later, she returned, silently placing a large plate of peeled papaya on the table. “Eat more, there’s plenty if you need it.”
Dumb Girl: “…”
In the chat:
“Pfft, old lady, your mom wants you to get a little extra nourishment.”
“Auntie’s move cracked me up, haha!”
“Not much harm, but the insult is devastating!”
“Don’t panic, old lady, get yourself a boyfriend to help you out!”
The comments hit like daggers. Dumb Girl took a deep breath, murmuring to herself:
“Don’t get angry, don’t get angry, I’m a lady.”
…
“Why’d you go quiet?” Bai Qingming sounded puzzled.
“Uh, nothing, nothing, Little Bai, let’s keep going.”
Dumb Girl rallied, gathering her spirits.
She refused to believe it—she, Dumb Girl, the unstoppable little tyrant, could conquer heaven and hall alike. Surely she could overcome Bai Qingming tonight?
Nearly a million viewers were watching. If word got out, where would she put her face?
But before Dumb Girl could speak, Bai Qingming was up to his antics again.
“You seem a little slow today. How about I give you a riddle?”
“You’re the one who’s slow.”
Of course, Dumb Girl kept that retort to herself. “If I guess right, you have to promise me one thing.”
“Deal, no problem,” Bai Qingming agreed instantly. “Listen up: A blue knife and a blue gun—what’s the idiom?”
“That’s it? You’re trying to insult my intelligence?” Dumb Girl scoffed. “Such an easy question, obviously the answer is ‘invulnerable to blades and spears.’”
Bai Qingming chuckled.
“Wrong answer. I told you, your brain’s not working today.”
“Then tell me, what’s the answer?” Dumb Girl was indignant.
“A blue knife and a blue gun? Clearly, the answer is ‘Blue Moon—The Game.’”
Hiss!
Dumb Girl felt her heart couldn’t handle it.
What kind of ridiculous answer was that!
“Hello everyone, I’m Trash Hui. If you’re brothers, come chop me!”

“Streamer, amazing! How much did Blue Moon pay you? Come to my channel, I’ll double it—I’ve got the Dragon Slayer Sword.”
“You’re killing me, streamer. I was watching your stream during evening study and laughed out loud. My phone almost got confiscated, but thankfully I was quick-thinking and handed in my deskmate’s phone instead.”
The atmosphere in the stream was lively again, gifts pouring in nonstop.
Taking a big bite of papaya, Dumb Girl’s heart finally settled a bit, but she was teetering on the edge of collapse.
She finally understood why Bai Qingming’s “Single Dog Anthem” had made him so popular—she was no match for him.
Tonight’s fiasco, she’d have to admit defeat.
“By the way, your voice sounds oddly familiar. I feel like I’ve heard it somewhere before,” Bai Qingming said.
Dumb Girl’s heart leapt.
Was he onto her?
“I remember now!”
Suddenly, Bai Qingming spoke up, recalling why Dumb Girl’s voice felt so familiar.
“There used to be a woman who cleaned the public toilets downstairs. Your voice is just like hers. I haven’t seen her in a while, though.”
“Could it be that you’re the same one, here as a game companion, and I happened to pick you?”
Dumb Girl was stunned.
Clean the toilets? Your uncle cleans toilets!
“Haha, don’t get mad, don’t get mad. I’m just joking,” Bai Qingming soothed, just in time.
But before Dumb Girl could recover, Bai Qingming continued, “How could a toilet cleaner sound like you? Actually, I meant the woman who collected trash.”
At that moment, Dumb Girl was completely shattered.
Just as she was about to curse, Bai Qingming spoke again.
“Oh right, earlier you suddenly asked if I’d heard of Dumb Girl. Why?”
He remembered that the manager at Douyu had once said they’d arrange for some top female streamers to fake a couple with him, and Dumb Girl was among them.
“It’s nothing, really. I just heard that Dumb Girl is Douyu’s number one girl—beautiful, perfect figure, gentle personality, lovely voice, and has a crowd of admirers.”
Seeing Bai Qingming ask, Dumb Girl shamelessly boasted.
Not a hint of blush or heartbeat.
Her words shocked the viewers in the stream.
Did she just praise herself?
“So here’s the question: If a girl like that wanted to be your girlfriend, would you accept?”
Dumb Girl pressed.
What’s wrong with boasting about yourself?
If I don’t feel awkward, it’s others who will!
“Well…”
Bai Qingming paused. “She doesn’t meet my standards.”
“What standards do you have?”
Dumb Girl was taken aback.
She, the perfect old lady—no, woman—didn’t meet his requirements?
“I’m fairly easy,” Bai Qingming smiled knowingly. “Mostly, I just worry my child might go hungry in the future.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”
Dumb Girl was confused, not grasping the implication.
But there was no need for explanation. The chatroom viewers already understood.
“Beast!”
“Not human!”
“I get it instantly. Am I beyond saving?”
“I’m underage, don’t quite get it. Someone who understands, explain.”
…
“Hunger for the child, damn!”
In a flash, Dumb Girl realized and was thrown into chaos.
Not playing anymore, not playing anymore.
She refused to continue this round of companionship, no matter what!
At that moment, all thoughts of cozying up to Bai Qingming, collaborating, or faking a couple vanished.
This guy wasn’t normal at all. Talking to him for two minutes was enough to drive anyone mad.
As the game session drew to a close, Dumb Girl finally breathed a sigh of relief.
But just then, Bai Qingming stopped her.
“After playing together all night, how about I tell you a story? Do you have a boyfriend?”
The question baffled Dumb Girl.
Why ask if she had a boyfriend before telling a story?
A faint sense of foreboding crept over her, but she answered honestly.
“No.”
“Do you know why you don’t have a boyfriend?”
“N-no, I don’t.”
Dumb Girl’s nerves were frayed, her voice trembling after a night of torment.
“Let me tell you why you don’t have a boyfriend.”
As he spoke, Bai Qingming changed the stream title to “Tormenting the Companion Girl.”
He stood up, picked up the microphone.
With a mysterious smile, not only to Dumb Girl but also to the viewers, he spoke slowly.
“Today, I’m going to tell everyone a sad story. I believe you’ll all have some insight after hearing it.”
“Why don’t you have a boyfriend (or girlfriend)? Isn’t it because…”
“You’re not good-looking!”
Cue the music!
…
“I feel like the streamer’s about to do something unusual.”
“Why is there music suddenly?”
“This string of actions reminds me of that Valentine’s night.”
“Is he going to sing?”
“Sing what, the Single Dog Anthem?”
In the chat, bewildered viewers debated endlessly.