Chapter 65: She Just Wanted to Ask You a Math Question, and You Said You Like Older Men?

“Go to hell, will you!”
Brother Wang was completely enraged.
He couldn’t even be bothered to make a move; he shook off the girl’s hand and stormed out of the bar.
This was just too humiliating. Never in his life had he lost face like this, made to look like some petty homewrecker.
“Don’t go, bro! I’ve already broken up with that pathetic bootlicker. Wait for me, where did you park your Bugatti Veyron?”
The girl still thought Old Wang was some wealthy sugar daddy and hurried after him.

At that moment,
Silence fell over the bar.
Coincidentally, the music changed right then.
By sheer chance, the DJ switched to “Bootlicker Disco” as sung by Bai Qingming, and it was the dance version—extremely lively.
Ye Chen felt as if his heart was bleeding.
If you liked this kind of thing, you could have just said so!
Ever since his last girlfriend dumped him, his family had assigned him another trial.
During this period, he was still forbidden from revealing his identity and had to temper his character.
Was it to be another three-year cycle? Hadn’t he suffered enough?
What rotten luck.
Why?
Why was he always the one being cheated on? Was it just because he was too honest?
“Today, I, Ye Chen, swear here and now: I will never be anyone’s bootlicker again.
Thirty years on the east bank, thirty on the west; fortunes rise and fall—never look down on a poor youth!”
After his grief subsided, Ye Chen muttered to himself.
Indeed, in lying to himself and finding comfort in these words, he felt much better.
Then Ye Chen pulled out his phone and, in good spirits, sent a text message to that girl from before.
“Baby, make him use protection, don’t bother with the pills!”
…

“Alright, brothers, that’s it for today’s romance lesson. I’m signing off. Oh, and before I go, let me remind you all: don’t ever be like this loser here—never be someone else’s bootlicker!
A bootlicker gains nothing in the end!”
After giving the chatroom that friendly warning, Bai Qingming ended his livestream at lightning speed and also left the bar.
Thus ended another perfectly ordinary day.
…

The next day.
No more bootlickers, no murderers at the door.
Bai Qingming lounged on the sofa, scrolling through DouYin like a total slacker.
Ding—
A message popped up from an unknown contact on WeChat.
“Hey, bro, are you there?”
“What’s up?”
Bai Qingming glanced at the profile picture and username, having no idea who this was or why they were on his friend list.
It must have been someone added before he crossed over.
“Can you lend me ten thousand yuan? I really need it.”
The person came straight out with it.
Bai Qingming was baffled.

Who the heck are you?
Are we even close? And you’re already asking for money.
He wanted to curse them out, but he held back.
“Sorry, I don’t have any money either.”
That was his reply.
The subtext was clear: not lending, go bother someone else.
But the next message arrived right away.
“Well, how about this: I’ll lend you my own money first, and you can pay me back when you have it?”
“What the—?”
Bai Qingming was stunned.
Was that even possible?
Sitting at home, and debt just falls from the sky?
Suddenly he owed ten thousand yuan out of nowhere?
Did this person really think he was an idiot?
With that in mind, Bai Qingming refused to back down and replied quickly.
“How about this: you pay me your ten thousand first, and I’ll lend it back to you in a few days?”
Come on, let’s see who can outdo whom!
Just for fun.
He waited and waited, but no reply came.
When Bai Qingming sent a question mark emoji, he saw a red exclamation mark pop up.
Well, what do you know—when they couldn’t win the argument, they simply quit the game and deleted him.
Is that it? So lame.
Might as well go back to scrolling DouYin, way more satisfying.
“You dog of a man, are you watching girls in black stockings again?”
Dai Xiaomei sat down with a plate of papaya.
“I’m bored of black stockings, switching over to bootlicker diaries now.”
Bai Qingming replied.
“Bootlickers? They keep diaries too?”
Dai Xiaomei was puzzled, “Is life really that hard these days? Of all things to fawn over, why dogs? Don’t you think they’re filthy?”
Bai Qingming: “…”
This woman’s train of thought was truly something else.
Meanwhile,
Dai Xiaomei’s phone lit up with a new text from the delivery company.
“My package is here.”
She jumped up, visibly excited, “I want to see just how wild this so-called ‘Wild Calabash Kid’ is.”
At that, Bai Qingming was left dumbfounded.
What in the world?
Wild Calabash Kid?
Before he could ask, Dai Xiaomei had already gone to her bedroom to change clothes.
Just then, her phone, which she’d left on the coffee table with WeChat still open, buzzed with a new friend request.
The request read: “Sis, add me, I’m your little brother.”

It was obviously spam.
Bai Qingming had seen plenty of these—men call you “brother,” women call you “sister”; if they’re not scammers, they’re peddling something.
Feeling mischievous, he picked up the phone and replied on Dai Xiaomei’s behalf:
“Sorry, I like older men, not little brothers.”
Message sent, he put the phone back and started wondering what exactly a ‘Wild Calabash Kid’ was.
Soon, Dai Xiaomei reemerged, phone in hand, carrying a square cardboard box.
“So this box holds the wild Calabash Kid?”
Bai Qingming couldn’t help his curiosity.
“Supposedly. I paid two hundred eighty-eight for it online. They say there are only seven, and I got the sales version.”
Dai Xiaomei set down the box, sliced it open with scissors—
Both were stunned.
The box was empty, nothing but air inside.
Where was the Calabash Kid?
Furious, Dai Xiaomei pulled out her phone to message the seller, demanding to know why her box was empty.
Soon, the seller replied:
“Dear, you ordered the sixth Calabash Brother—he’s invisible, so naturally you can’t see anything.”
Reading this, Bai Qingming nearly burst out laughing.
Two hundred eighty-eight, gone to the stupidity tax.
Dai Xiaomei was in total shock.
The seller’s answer was so bold she couldn’t react at first.
“Did I just get scammed?”
“Be confident—yes, you were scammed.”
“…” Dai Xiaomei was speechless.
Just then, her phone rang.
When she saw the caller ID, she suddenly turned meek and answered cautiously.
“Hello, Mom.”
“Where the hell have you been? You haven’t come home in days!”
Her mother’s voice was sharp and furious.
Dai Xiaomei glanced guiltily at Bai Qingming, not daring to admit she was at a man’s place, so she made up an excuse: “There’s an event at DouYu, I’m out of town on business, what’s wrong, Mom?”
“What’s wrong? How dare you ask?”
Her mother snapped, “Your uncle’s kid added you on WeChat, why did you delete him?”
“Huh? When did that happen? I don’t know anything about it.”
“Just now. Your little cousin only wanted to ask you a few math questions, and you told him you like older men?”
“???”
In an instant, Dai Xiaomei understood.
“You dog of a man, this was your doing, wasn’t it?”
“Mom, let me explain.”
“It’s not what you think!”