Chapter 75: Another Battle Looms?

“Uncle, if we were in a movie, at best we’d just be extras, cannon fodder. Why bother working ourselves to the bone? Wouldn’t it be nicer to just sit back and drink tea while they perform?”
Li Changlu grinned, pointing at the teapot on the table.
Who doesn’t want to be the protagonist? Li Changlu was no exception. But if being the protagonist brought no benefit, and even risked your life, then it was better to be a lollipop.
I am who I am, a unique spark.
But sparks flare and vanish in an instant, gone after a few crackles.
Only those who can stand firm can deliver, a saying from games that Li Changlu took to heart—if he were to be a protagonist, he would be one who could stand his ground.
“Are you really not going to sit?”
The old turtle, lugging his shell, slowly sat down, gesturing to the stool beside him for Li Changlu.
“No, I’ll stand.”
Li Changlu stiffened his neck, refusing the old man’s kindness.
“Really not sitting?”
“No.”
“Could it be that you…”
“……”
“Could it be you’ve already seen through my intentions, seen through the trap? Young man, I must admire your keen observation; I set this up so carefully, and yet you saw through it.”
The elder gazed at Li Changlu, his turtle face full of surprise.
“……”
Li Changlu, however, was not delighted like a child being praised. He looked at the self-congratulating old man with a world-weary expression, because…
The stool the old man offered him…
Was covered in a dense array of… poisoned needles.
Would I sit?
Uncle, setting a trap so blatantly…
Who’s supposed to fall for it?
Is this appropriate?
Uncle, could you be a bit more creative?
Such a low-effort trap…
How did you even think it up?
What a cute trick.
“If you won’t sit, then so be it.” The old man slowly reached for the teapot, poured himself a cup, and drank it down in one gulp.
Afterward, he licked his lips and said to Li Changlu, “A bit thirsty—down the hatch first. How about you have a cup?”
He poured another cup and handed it to Li Changlu.
The old man’s gentle smile and innate scholarly air almost made Li Changlu accept the cup without hesitation.
But…
Li Changlu stared at the cup being handed to him, stunned.
Somehow, a small slip of paper was stuck to the cup, and in fresh brushstrokes, two characters were written—

Poison!!!
The ink hadn’t dried; it must have just been written.
Li Changlu felt his scalp tingling. The sheer showmanship of this move made him feel…
So nervous.
So tired.
How he wished to battle a normal monster.
Even if… he ended up rubbing their face in the dirt.
But…
Uncle, what are you doing now? Why…
Didn’t you write out the recipe and side effects of the poison, too?
Is this supposed to be psychological warfare?
But…
Uncle, can’t we just stick to proper psychological warfare, not psychological perversion? Please, promise me?
“Not drinking? Afraid it’s poison?”
The old turtle monster smiled at Li Changlu, then drew his hand back and drank from the cup himself.
“See? Not poisoned. You young people these days—why is there so little trust between you?”
The old man shook his head, scolding Li Changlu.
Perhaps the poison was too strong; after drinking, the old man instinctively clutched his stomach, and a trickle of blood seeped from his mouth.
“No worries, just a bit of heat lately, bleeding gums—don’t mind it. This tea is definitely not poisoned. Young man, really not going to have a cup?”
Clutching his stomach, face twisted in pain, he explained to Li Changlu.
Then, he spat another mouthful of blood onto the floor…
Li Changlu stared wide-eyed, mouth agape, clutching his head…
Uncle, don’t go all out like this, okay?
Self-testing poisons—who even does that?
And—testing your own poison? Has anyone ever done that before?
And after all that, you tell me it’s not poisoned?
Who would believe that?
How big must your heart be to come up with such a terrible trick?
Sacrifice a thousand, total annihilation?
“Uncle, maybe we should just call it a day?”
Li Changlu honestly felt the old turtle monster’s traps were so tragic that he almost pitied him.
For someone so prone to kicking others when they’re down to feel sympathy for an enemy, you can imagine how tragic that enemy must be.
“Not drinking? Looks like the soft approach failed—time for violence, what a pity.”
The old turtle monster wiped the blood from his lips, his expression suddenly turning serious. The warmth in his eyes vanished, replaced by ferocity.
At last, Li Changlu felt—for once—this was what a battle should look like, a proper fight. Even though his own monster power was low and he often relied on dirty tricks,
deep down, he longed for a real, head-to-head clash, a fight where fists met flesh.
Even if…
His opponent was now coughing blood endlessly…
He wanted to respect him, to fight honorably.
Li Changlu grew serious, his gaze steadfast, eagerly awaiting a showdown with the blood-spitting old turtle…
He was convinced this would be the most thrilling battle since he came to this world.
The old turtle monster became serious as well; he let out a low shout, and a spring of water surged in his palm, transforming into a long trident.
Its icy gleam was sharp; the trident looked deadly.
He swung the trident, and the sturdy wooden furniture before him was neatly sliced in two—so sharp.
The old turtle monster caressed his trident lovingly…
This scene was all too familiar to Li Changlu—the way the old turtle monster gazed at his trident was just like how he himself admired a certain Japanese artifact…
Both excited and bashful…
But…
Li Changlu hadn’t expected the old fellow, even poisoned, to be so fierce and to have his own weapon.
What a lollipop fight…
“Young man, retreating without a fight isn’t good. How do you know you can’t beat me unless you try? Give it a shot.”
“Then I’ll try?”
“Mm, see—look how strong your monster power is. My Sea-Stirring Trident is already shaking under your aura.”
Seeing how sharp the trident was, Li Changlu promptly tossed aside his honorable fighting ideals, determined not to suffer loss, and began searching for a chance to slip away…
He chickened out again.
But the old turtle monster blocked his path, trident held sideways.
He explained how powerful his trident was, boasted it had once stabbed the old Dragon King’s backside…
All the while, he kept tapping the trident’s prongs.
Snap!!!
At last, thanks to the old turtle monster’s relentless efforts, the trident broke…
“Never thought I’d encounter a thousand-year-old monster. My poor Sea-Stirring Trident—so this is fate? My old partner, your time has come?”
The old turtle monster cradled his broken trident, tears streaming down his face, utterly forlorn…
Li Changlu watched his performance in silence…
He couldn’t understand it, not at all.
Breaking your own weapon?
Such an outrageous way to throw a fight?