Chapter 52: Let's Play a Game of Rock, Paper, Scissors

What the hell, if you’re not convinced, just fight.
The guy standing across from him, who looked exactly like him, was almost brutally direct.
Without a word, he had pulled out that bead from his crotch, ready to start a battle?
But this was supposed to be a two-on-two—so what were the two dogs doing?
They were sniffing each other’s behinds...
Rolling around together...
Nipping at each other’s ears...
Meanwhile, the two Li Changluos hadn’t even exchanged a word before they were about to go at each other’s throats.
It really did bring to mind that saying: loving and killing one another at the same time.
Li Changluo watched as his double pointed that all-too-familiar glass bead at him, the bead filled to the brim with a yellowish, phosphorescent liquid.
The color inside wasn’t green like before.
Could it be that the person before him was a copy?
The Divine Cauldron truly was incredible...
So it seemed he could only ignite the Divine Cauldron by defeating this other self?
Li Changluo had never imagined that one day he would have to duel himself.
He slowly took out a cigarette, lit it, and drew in a deep breath, finally feeling a bit better.
But his double was already raising the glass bead high above his head.
Li Changluo knew exactly what he was up to.
“Hey, brother over there, I have a bold idea...”
Exhaling smoke, Li Changluo raised his head and said seriously, “Our techniques are the same; whatever you know, I know too. Fighting is pointless—how about...”
“How about a round of rock-paper-scissors?”
Of course, Li Changluo wasn’t that childish—this was just a stalling tactic. His greatest fear was the other Li Changluo acting like a wooden puppet, saying nothing at all. That sort of person left him with no angle of attack, even if it was himself.
But...
He didn’t even know how despicable he could be...
So vile, he could even trick himself...
Just the thought was terrifying.
Better to seek peace than to make an enemy of himself.
However, the other Li Changluo really was like a puppet—no answer, just continuing his movements.
The black flames on his body were slowly being absorbed into the glass bead.
The best way not to fall for a trick is to ignore it altogether—it seemed his opponent understood that well.
There was no way to escape now, and the other one didn’t want to make peace. Li Changluo flicked away his cigarette butt, preparing for a serious fight.
He slowly pulled out the glass bead from his own crotch.
Fine, let’s hurt each other!
Yet, the other Li Changluo pointed the bead at himself. Immediately, the bead began to emit a phosphorescent glow onto his own body.
What the hell, casting a spell on yourself?

Li Changluo was dumbfounded.
So ruthless—even harming himself when the time came...
But soon, Li Changluo realized his double wasn’t self-mutilating at all.
His body was melting bit by bit, like a pile of rotten mud sinking slowly to the ground. The scene felt eerily familiar.
Li Changluo racked his brain—wasn’t this just like the chocolate monster in the ancient tomb?
Before he could react, he felt something wrapping tightly around his feet.
Looking down...
Sure enough...
Even the move was identical to the chocolate monster’s.
Li Changluo’s feet were immobilized, chocolate wrapping hardening around them, turning to stone.
Then, a sharp pain stabbed his arm. He glanced aside and saw blood streaming down—
A chocolate arrowhead was embedded in his arm.
Before he could process it, another wave of searing pain hit—another arrow had pierced his other arm.
Looking up, he saw his double had melted into a variety of weapons, all floating in mid-air, aimed directly at him.
Arrowheads, cleavers...
Daggers, red-tasseled spears...
Meteor hammers, nunchaku...
Every kind of cold weapon imaginable...
Most outrageous of all, there was even a toilet brush...
What was that supposed to mean?
Had he wandered onto the wrong set?
All these bizarre things were poised to pierce him through and through.
But Li Changluo didn’t panic. He flicked his lighter, pinched the flame between his fingers, and at once black fire erupted, swirling around his body.
“Didn’t expect that, did you? That’s all you’ve got? Pathetic...”
“For the sake of our shared origin, how about we start this round over?”
He had meant to act cool, even had his lines rehearsed—but—
He quickly realized things weren’t the same as before; the petrified chocolate around his feet didn’t melt under his black flames.
He immediately lost his bravado, clinging to the last shred of dignity as he begged for mercy.
The chocolate Li Changluo across from him was unmoved, his body continuing to liquefy into all sorts of weapons.
“Damn you, Ah Huang—if I die, the cauldron’s fire will go out. Don’t think you’ll get to laze around as a pampered mutt—you...”
Li Changluo pinned his last hope on the yellow dog, Ah Huang.
But Ah Huang was astride another Ah Huang...
Doing...
Indecent things.
Li Changluo was stunned...
Dogs could do that?
(2/3)

Playing with themselves?
Dogs could play like that?
Ah, forget it—maybe now was not the time to interrupt.
What if he turned... bent?
Li Changluo was still reeling from the shock of canine self-indulgence when a barrage of bizarre weapons came hurtling at him.
A chaotic mess of objects flew toward his body.
He even felt a cleaver split his skull right down the middle.
Agonizing pain erupted all over him, searing through flesh and bone.
His body was riddled with arrows, cleavers, and even toilet brushes...
A modified blade pierced his chest, blood spurting out.
“Damn it, I’m about to die...”
“Hell, at least light a lollipop for me.”
“Who cares what happens next?”
Yet, though Li Changluo was writhing in agony and weeping bitterly, he just couldn’t die.
He was trapped in endless torment.
Now, he felt like a character in some shoddy melodrama—half an episode dying, yet still not dead.
Was it because he hadn’t uttered some heroic last words, so he wasn’t allowed to die?
Like, “In twenty years, I’ll be a hero again”?
But that was too clichéd. He wanted to be different.
If he had to die, he wouldn’t do it in a commonplace way.
Li Changluo racked his brains, searching for some epic last words.
But the pain was too much—so much that death seemed preferable.
“I’ll be back!!!”
Li Changluo blurted out, shouting what he considered a truly badass line.
Why say that?
Because he firmly believed that any character who shouted “I’ll be back!” upon defeat would return in the next episode.
But the foe before him had no intention of letting him survive to the sequel. His form slowly coalesced again before Li Changluo, shaping itself like a clay figurine, a sharp chocolate spear raised high in hand.
Aimed straight at Li Changluo.
Although his body was bristling with every kind of weapon imaginable, he still stubbornly clung to life, a last ragged breath remaining.
Infuriating, wasn’t it?
Biting back the pain, he kept retreating, like a hunted animal with nowhere left to run. He was doomed either way, but somehow, backing away seemed to lessen the terror.
He kept retreating—until he suddenly crashed into something.
Turning around, he saw it was the Divine Cauldron.
But as his gaze fell on it, Li Changluo was struck dumb with astonishment.