Chapter 66: The Lady with the Qilin Arm

The Art of War says: when outnumbered ten to one, surround them; five to one, attack... But when outnumbered, run.

Li Changluo found himself in a world overrun by monsters, and it seemed as though he’d been running ever since he arrived. The underlying reason was simple: he was a frail, weak little demon, liable to be crushed underfoot by any of the bigger creatures at any moment.

If you can’t win, you run. Only a fool fights head-on. The key point was, Li Changluo was terminally lazy. Even if his opponent was just an old lady, even if he could break her bones with a flick of his finger, he’d still opt for trickery first, escape second, and only resort to a “fair and square” fight if there truly was no other way.

And yet, at this very moment...

Li Changluo lay quietly on the ground, gazing up at a sky filled with stars, contemplating a serious question...

Why on earth couldn't I beat that old lady...?

What was the reason?

Could it be...

I haven’t danced enough in the square?

Am I really just that weak?

When this fight is over...

I swear, I’ll feed horses, chop firewood, and dance in the square...

But, Auntie.

What’s the deal with those Herculean arms of yours?

Li Changluo never expected that this Venus de Milo of an auntie, missing an arm, would suddenly sprout a pair of muscular, powerful arms out of nowhere.

With a single Moon Embrace move, she effortlessly threw the would-be challenger Li Changluo to the ground, leaving him staring up at the stars.

So humiliating...

So helpless...

Damn it all...

It almost feels like being cradled in my mother’s arms as a child.

Why didn’t I run away?

Li Changluo had dashed out the gates of his apartment complex countless times, only to end up back inside every time.

In utter despair, he’d prepared to try and topple the auntie waiting for him to come home for dinner with one hand, and figure things out from there.

But...

Life is always full of surprises, and in this world, Li Changluo had come to realize that life was filled with aunties and... shocks.

What a terrifying auntie.

“Young man, are you alright?”

The burly-armed auntie had reverted to her kindly demeanor, looking down at Li Changluo with concern as he lay on the ground.

“Auntie, I’m fine. I just want to lie here and watch the stars. See those distant points of light, twinkling and shining? They suddenly make me homesick.”

“In childhood summers, on starry nights, I’d lie on a haystack counting stars, listening to the chirping of crickets and the gentle murmur of a stream, lost in the night air of my hometown. That was the scent of summer at home...”

It had been so long since he’d felt this way; he just wanted to lie there, eyes half-closed, quietly watching the stars.

“Auntie, I really miss home, I wish I could just lie here forever,” Li Changluo said, voice thick with emotion.

“Auntie, can you understand my feelings right now?”

“Hey, Auntie, just savor this beautiful moment with me, will you?”

“Surely you had a childhood too—try to appreciate the mood I just described. You’ll find a different kind of beauty in it.”

Under the starlight, with the moon casting its charm, the auntie with Herculean arms dragged Li Changluo along the path in the complex as if hauling off a prize.

Li Changluo gazed up at the twinkling stars, utterly disheartened.

Damn it all...

He’d racked his brains to spin such a touching childhood story, and she hadn’t listened to a word.

Maybe this auntie likes folk songs?

Should he hum a few old mountain tunes?

Like “Driver, Take Me Along” or “Two Wives, One Man” and the like?

But...

Being dragged along like this, with sparks nearly flying off his backside, might it affect his performance?

“Aunt Li, back from the market?”

“These cabbages have wormholes; Aunt Li really knows how to pick produce.”

“Li Shufang, for your cabbages, I’m going to slaughter a pig...”

“Shufen, don’t listen to Old Wang’s nonsense, he only wants your cabbage. Only I, Old Zhang, truly crave your heart.”

...

Within the community, a crowd of paper-thin men, women, and children commented and bantered as Aunt Li dragged her “cabbage” home.

Li Changluo could never have imagined...

The moment he received the most attention and popularity would be now.

And this attention was a bundled drama; how could he bear it...

“Mommy, mommy, look! The cabbage is blooming!”

A little girl clapped her hands, curiously pointing at the “cabbage” Aunt Li was dragging and shouting in surprise.

Everyone looked over, only to see that Li Changluo, being dragged along, was in the midst of taking off his clothes. The little girl’s mother hastily covered her daughter’s eyes.

“Shame on that indecent cabbage.”

“That’s a cabbage with dreams—look how hard he’s working to strip.”

“What a disgrace! Even the vegetables aren’t as innocent as they used to be.”

“Such an indecent cabbage... where did Aunt Li buy it? Are there more?”

“Shufen, I can outdo that cabbage in indecency—why not try eating me instead?”

The neighborhood erupted into another round of jeering and banter.

Through his own efforts, Li Changluo had managed to steal the spotlight, drawing everyone’s attention to himself.

He kept striking all sorts of comical poses; though he was being dragged by the auntie, it did nothing to dampen his showmanship.

But his true intent wasn’t just to grab attention—it was to distract the crowd.

He’d already devised his plan: once the auntie and everyone else’s guard was down, he’d draw the fruit knife at his waist and, swift as lightning, chop off the auntie’s Herculean arms, then take her hostage, forcing the crowd to reveal the way out.

And finally, he’d make his grand escape.

I really am a genius...

As for seeking revenge on that scoundrel Long Qi Gongzi?

Ha! The monsters in this neighborhood are trouble enough for him.

It was a brilliant, picture-perfect plan—all that remained was to wait for the right moment.

Sure enough...

Everything unfolded just as Li Changluo had anticipated. The crowd of paper-thin residents, doubled over with laughter, were thoroughly entertained by the antics of the clownish “cabbage.”

Even when Li Changluo drew the fruit knife from his waist, everyone assumed their comic cabbage was about to put on another show and watched with eager anticipation.

With a grin, Li Changluo pulled out the fruit knife and brought it down hard on the auntie’s Herculean arm.

Once...

Twice...

Thrice...

The crowd, still lost in the spectacle, laughed so hard they were nearly in tears, watching Li Changluo hack away at Aunt Li with manic ferocity.

Because, as soon as the knife touched Aunt Li’s Herculean arm, it turned soft and monochrome—a sketch of a fruit knife, utterly useless.

It couldn’t hurt Aunt Li in the slightest; it was little more than a tickle.

So much for a bold, tiger-like maneuver—had he just made a complete fool of himself?

Exhausting.

“Young man, don’t be hasty; the water isn’t even boiling yet.”

Aunt Li gently took the fruit knife from Li Changluo’s hand.

Li Changluo’s perfect plan fell apart just like that. He stared dumbly at the fruit knife, now nothing more than a sketch.

Damn it all, a Herculean-armed auntie is not to be trifled with—not at all.